It wasn't love, it never was

The first time we talked
I could not stop smiling

You were a breath of fresh air
At a time of desperation

I felt alone and scared
Then you came along
I was overjoyed

Even though we could not be together in person
We were constantly with each other
Either over the phone or online

You were like my drug
I could forget all my problems
just by talking to you

You did warn me
That you were unsure of yourself
I beleived that I could change that

I was infactuated with you

There were things I learned about you
That I did not necassary like
I was desperate
I did not want to be alone

I did not understand what it was to love another
I thought that to love another
All you needed to do was beleive
and you would change
It was foolish of me

Then when we finally were able to be with each other
You decided to call it quits
I did not know what to do

I forgot about my goals
I forgot who I was
All I knew, was you

It felt like all that i wanted vanished
I had nothing left to do

I struggled for a long time
trying to find the meaning of life again
because, with you the meaning of life was simple
It was just simply, to be with you

Now I realize, I was never in love
I was trapped with this idea that society loves to portray
That you have to be with someone in order to 'be' someone

I know now, that this is completly false
In order to 'be' someone, you must first be yourself

I was a different person when I thought I loved you
I was weak, defenceless and had nowhere else to go
I could not see then what I see now

I have grown stronger from this experience
I now understand that I will never be alone
Even when sometimes it feels that I may be
I will always have my friends and family there with me

What you really were to me, was a distraction
from everything that was going on around me
I could get away and forget my problems
I basically gave up on myself when I found you

I am never going to allow myself to do that again
My life is too precious to give up for someone else

Besides, the next person whom I share my love with
will love me for who I am
Rather than loving me for devoting my life to you
I will not comprimise myself for anyone anymore
I promise you I'll never change who I am
I'll never shed a tear for you again
and I'll fall in love with someone
because of who they are
and not because of the fear of being alone

I will be loved for who I am
I know in my heart that I am a good person
The one who loves me back will see it too